The Time I Nearly Got Scammed by the China Merchant Bank
So one day I got a call from this fucking bank that goes roughly like this:
CMB: Good day, Mr. Higgins, this is CMB. Because you are a long time customer and have a good record, the bank is going to transfer a certain amount of cash to your account...
Me: (Free money? That sounds delightful.)
CMB: ...you can choose to split it into 12 installments so that you'll have an easier time to repay...
Me: (...installments? Repay? Why am I repaying if I'm getting free money?)
Me: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait... (I repeat "wait" a LOT of times because that goddamn saleswoman just won't give up trying to steer the conversation her way if I don't do so) I need to REPAY?
CMB: You can choose to have installments--
Me: I thought I was getting free cash - I need to repay for this?
CMB: The money will be transferred into your account, so whenever you need money in the near future--
Me: No. I Don't Need It. Stop.
CMB: (Soulless generic "sorry for disturbing goodbye have a nice day" parting words)
This is extra vile because they say "the bank is going to give you money"; this ain't "banks giving you money", this is you fucking taking a loan. That, to me, is a fucking scam. (Then again, if I have no family here I would definitely take the loan and leave this country ASAP - good luck getting your money back you sick fucks.)
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