Code Discordianism

Welcome to the. Place. Where I try to. Conjure. Up a software engineering principle. That's inherently anti-clean by accepting and internalizing the. Omnipresent chaos.
Of the universe fnord and as. A result of this crazy. Show of nothing. But jokes and metajokes and. All kinds of random stuff that is related. (Or not; i don't actually care too much about.
The accuracy and stuff.) to discordianism or. Things that are not discordianism but you know what. I forgot what. I was. Going to write. After I've decided to do this π bullshit.
So just wing it. You got nothing to lose or. Gain anyway.

The hell's a Discordianism??

Read this. (← this is a link! it won't bite you so feel free to click!!)

And the hell's your principle??

Read below.

Principle... on writing code

"Wha- I thought functions should be small and preferrably 4-lines-or-less small?" "But- but what if the code I wrote went to waste because I didn't think it through?" - "But what about code readability?"

Principle... on *trust*

(this is bad. i'm running out of jokes (jokes? are you sure those are jokes? as in they're supposed to be actually funny?) and shock-inducing gimmicks. welp, let's see what i can come up with...)

Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord. Fnord.
[You can't just repeat the word "fnord" five times and call that a Discordian joke mate, it doesn't work that way. -- K]
Screw you, this is my place, and I will fnord whatever I wanna fnord. -- SRH

Principle... on attitude when dealing with existing code

"Wha-? Energy?"
Someone (that doesn't exist (but probably will after I made this webpage available to the public)): Your opinion is shit because it doesn't scale.

Enough of this bullshit, can you actually be serious for once??

No, because this isn't Clean Code or Agile or whatever, this is not written so that newly-minted developers could dogmatically follow, this is not written so that those first-world dwelling "tech" hipster fvcks could diarrhea out a truck load of shitty turtorials so that the former group of unassuming fools could pay their unassuming $5 or whatever price a month for a fvcking subscription, this is written as a joke, it was meant to agitate your brain so that you could think for yourself for once. Guys - I have no intention to become a snake oil merchant. I have no snakes, I don't breed snakes, and I don't plan on making oil out of snakes. Please don't accuse me of something I'm not doing.

Alright alright, here's the serious version if you want a serious version of an inherently not-so-serious thing...

These three are the absolute basics that all self-proclaimed Code Discordianism practitioners should adhere to. There are also some other principles that, while being enlightening (in my opinion), aren't necessarily as important as the ones listed above.

Think metaphysically, m y f r i e n d ~